i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
