Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize