i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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