I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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