Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
