Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
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Mom said you looked used
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
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that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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