Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
