if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
