Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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