I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
