I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
