my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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