Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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