Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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