I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just want to make out with him forever
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize