you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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