I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
