the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
