I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
