Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You took a bar mat shot.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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