It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
