Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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