brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
