I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
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I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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