Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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