I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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