I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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