I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize