have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
