How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
