i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
