I'm jealous of your bromance
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
