I want to have your abortion
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando