I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child