Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Ill do this for you.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  You are a team player.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.

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  (828): Ill do this for you. (1-828): You are a team player. (828): This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more. http://tfl.nu/hmdx
  Replies (11) Good night (3174) Bad night (614)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience

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  (302): dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience http://tfl.nu/d1lz
  Replies (49) Good night (745) Bad night (6345)
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  (566): View more from

  According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !

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  (566): According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE ! http://tfl.nu/odei
  Replies (25) Good night (868) Bad night (3158)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me

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  (203): Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me http://tfl.nu/rey7
  Replies (22) Good night (6898) Bad night (1516)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1348) Bad night (4438)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad

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  (403): well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad http://tfl.nu/t0b7
  Replies (14) Good night (1226) Bad night (2660)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.

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  (503): i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding. http://tfl.nu/0bxz
  Replies (10) Good night (883) Bad night (2986)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why do you think it's a no-pants party?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.

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  (978): Why do you think it's a no-pants party? (603): Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation. http://tfl.nu/hg9g
  Replies (4) Good night (2998) Bad night (686)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.

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  (905): Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today. http://tfl.nu/u9so
  Replies (37) Good night (1350) Bad night (3062)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick

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  (781): I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick http://tfl.nu/smiy
  Replies (7) Good night (1957) Bad night (557)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".

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  (570): Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me". http://tfl.nu/8pyn
  Replies (10) Good night (4268) Bad night (755)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"

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  (+44): He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis" http://tfl.nu/c89r
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (1168)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.

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  (646): He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body. http://tfl.nu/dbfa
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (342)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!

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  (775): He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/5zy7
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (293)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months

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  (703): just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months http://tfl.nu/j2ye
  Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (323)

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