Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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