i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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