They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
