i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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