I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
