How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
