O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
