I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
