what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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