What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize