I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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