i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
