I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize