I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
