i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
