When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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