In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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