Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
wow bdsm is so cute
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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