don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
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The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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