I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize