he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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