I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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