I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
