dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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