the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
