is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
BRING THE BAGELS
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
