I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
