Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
