Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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