can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
