My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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