I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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