i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
