I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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