I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
