Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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