Jerry, you need to find god
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
