You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
