I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
