i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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