I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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