jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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