I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize